SO...

I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET A HOLD OF A PERSON WITH PLAYSTATION 3, AND PLAYED THROUGH THE ENTIRETY OF HEAVY RAIN IN ONE SESSION, JUST LIKE DAVID CAGE ADVISED ONE TO DO.
I GOT THE ENDING WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER KILLS HIMSELF, THE MURDERER GETS AWAY AND EVERYBODY ELSE DIES.
LEST WE FORGET! DEMENTED!