It might be that my life has been so godawful that I have invented a larger-than-life story to be able to cope with it and explain it.
I mean, I have studied psychology at university level and I do have a history of violence. I do not agree with scientific method as it is today in any way, but I do understand that my life in the truest sense of the word might be so overwhelming and awesome and lonely that I tell myself stories to be able to handle it.
However, in the name of biocentrism and all of my goddamn motherfucking university studies at Harvard and CERN, that story is measurable, quantitative and qualitative. It can predict and describe, so at any rate, it is very real.
Hypebot tells me that I must tell my story as a musician, but I have already done that waaaay back with more awesome results than you could ever produce, so what I am writing here is just a vulgar display of loneliness.
Long story short, my life in Stockholm became so unbearably horrible that I just last week, after my show in Örebro, sought refuge in a studio in Finland.
It is a large house with a lot of equipment and other musicians that I have made friends with.
I am going to live here for a little while, while trying to dot the eyes and straighten out some questionmarks in my own recordcompany, read: book another tour and make another EP. I'm thinking this project might be called ULSA.
I am also here because I am scared for my life. We have a rule here to keep all the doors locked.
After the first night the front door was reportedly unlocked, even though I know I had checked it. No matter.
So, the second night I'm alone in this monstrous mansion I go out for a smoke. The fullmoon is literally blaring in a way I have never seen in my life. Yes, I was both drunk and high, but as always I have that evidence that you human beings always treasure, and as always I will upload that photo of said full moon upon request, and as always you will not believe me that said full moon was blaring even when you see it. If God came down to earth and literally showed you his existence, which she is doing all of the time, all of you would still deny it ever happened, according to above mentioned psychology studies. Jesus christ I despise you all. You have no idea what you are talking about, none of you.
Anyhow, in this blaring moonlight I see a guy running back and forth on the lawn. Back and forth along the lawn, back and forth along the walls, taking small stops here and there, as if he is searching for something. He is not one of us, and the layup is a few blocks from here so it cant be a graffiti writer and the only diagnosed psychos here are us, so it must be a burglar. I go into the kitchen to grab the largest knife I find, go back out, he spots me and runs off.
The third night, just this night, my girlfriend in Sweden dumps me, though she swore she would wait for me. They always do.
She sound panicky and strange and wont give me any answers, then again thats the kind of character traits I always end up in a relationship with.
And as always, I tell her to never speak to me again or I will kill her.
Yes, kill (no not really). I have seriously had enough of people I love.
The third night, just this night, there are three of those guys on the lawn. This time they are lighting candles and walking in circles. As I approach them with the knife they yell out my name in glee. Nobody is supposed to know that I'm here. And I understand who they are. And I know you are the only ones reading this. And I understand that I have nobody else to talk to, ever again. And I understand that that is why I am writing here. And I understand that we are in danger now.