Hello, what’s your name? It’s gonna say Mars One, just so you know. So you’re a graffitiwriter, yeah?
[Nodding in agreement]
Nodding in agreement, ok cool. So you were there, the first time cocaine came into the Vice office. How did the substance end up there?
[silence]
Ok, where was it?
Vasastan. No wait. Fridhemsplan.
Do you have a year?
No, not yet, i need to verify it with my homie. But around the 2000’s.
As swedish as kaviar.
Man, it’s blurry.
Well, those who knows, knows. Okay, followup question, how did you end up at the premises? Who did you know?
A friend of mine, american, I knew him and he works there, and another friend from my crew she worked there and they knew eachother.
Was the office newly started?
I think so.
Ok so it was newly started and somebody came over with cocaine, who came over with cocaine?
Guy who delivered it was there when i arrived, and he was completely spun. And then someone was waving a broomhandle.
The guy with the broom, do you remember his name?
I wouldn’t even mention it if i did.
Allright. So what happened?
Nah it was just fascinating to see.
Yeah so what happened?
Well it was his first time trying it, as i recall, and… well, it worked on him.
Could you give a more precise image of what you observed?
Nah he was just standing in the kitchen swinging a broomhandle. [the drugs] worked great on him, that’s all there is to it. I don’t believe it was his last time either to be honest.
Okay, followup question; how did you know it was the first time cocaine had been delivered to this office?
Well listen, somebody at that party told me in confidence.
Did they have like a huge mountain of it on a mirror? Like Freddie Mercury or Scarface?
No.
[disappointed sigh] So how was it displayed and distributed?
I don’t know, your usual lines i guess. I honestly didn’t even see the actual intake, i was in another room. I just noticed when the guy was spun. I didn’t take any myself, I was just shitfaced.
Its an expensive hobby.
It’s a hell of a drug.
It’s a hell of a drug.
But that memory is a little faded because there was this other thing that happened upstairs at the time.
Oh yeah? What?
No it’s personal.
Oh it’s personal. Well… now that i have your attention at least… well.. how did you know it was the first time at the office again?
Somebody told me.
When was this? Winter? Summer?
I think it was fall.
Like how it is outside now?
Exactly.
Daytime?
God, no. The guy with the broom in Vice, that’s what i remember.
Time is relative anyway.
Sure, but as soon as i get it verified i’ll get back to you.
Where was it again?
Around A.G., Allmänna Galleriet in Stockholm you know. Around those hoods, a couple of floors up. Real nice place. It is like you want to do coke in there you know.
Yeah, i believe they still have their offices there, I mean we still have our offices around there, heh heh. I am a writer.
Cool. Maybe we should go there and practice skipping sometime.
Define skipping, but okay, who had sex with who?
Nah there was nothing like that.
Any other juicy relationship drama that ensued at the premises?
Yeah you could say that.
Really?
Well that is the million dollar question. The question of did i see anything or not. I have not quite yet come to terms with it myself to this day really. I can’t say for sure. And i will have to leave it like that. I don’t know what good would come out of mentioning it. Because i can not tell you a story if I remember things wrong.
But you know that is what happened?
No.
Yes. You know, I have been writing for Vice myself and i hope that they have enough self distance to-
I believe a friends sister worked there as well, that’s how i got there.
That being said, i don’t know how the office is runt hese days and who’s who.
Yeah but nevermind, I can picture the kitchen [at the office] right now. Yeah so I am at the kitchen, allright?
Who did you know there? How did you get there?
I knew bleep.
Bleep one? As in graffititerms?
No just bleep, as in writing. Bleep worked there. Maybe she worked at Cheap Monday or something. Yeah, that’s it, i was dating her friend for a while. And [bleep] was together with this guy who worked at Vice.
How many was at the party?
Not that many, really. Around… seven, maybe ten people.
And this was at a weekend?
Yes it was.
A Saturday or a Sunday?
How the fuck should i remember that. I don’t even remember what year it was.
Excellent answer.
Yeah I was a bit blown away at the time myself, if you catch my drift.
Hah. So did anyone pull out their dick or anything?
No. Well yeah, there was this guy with the… broomhandle.
You remember what his position was in the organisation?
Art director.
Oh. High level shit.
You could say that.
Was there music playing in the background?
For sure.
Did the office have a fat soundsystem?
Not particularly fat from what i recall.
And when was this again? Just so that people can get an image. Ish. Two thousand…?
I cannot recall right now.
But just to give this some sort of scientific grounding, what would you say what year it was?
I would have to find out at what time some people broke up, and then i’ll get back to you.
Last question, have you ever tried cocaine?
Fuck yeah.
Awesome, this was a pleasure, thank you very much.